August 30th, 2011 | 1 Comment

My personal response regarding today’s madness by tj

by Tiffany Jackson on Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Boycotting Fluid Hair isn’t going to stop domestic abuse. If it did I, Tiffany Jackson being Sarah Cameron’s creative consultant and close friend would tell you all to boycott and bankrupt her business. Yea that’s right I’m talking to you Ryan Jespersen from Breakfast Television and other select reporters and journalists who in my opinion use a platform that they were blessed with to gain ratings and make more money (no judgment, no hard feelings, just saying). Because if you really wanted to do something about stopping domestic abuse it wouldn’t start with rounding up the pitchfork carrying masses and getting them fired up to boycott a hair salon. In fact it’s probably the last place you would start.

I find it so interesting that all of you who are outraged are posting such abusive and hateful comments. It’s so easy for you all to gang up on one person/business from behind your computers. So what makes any of you any better? Why does this ad really make you so uncomfortable? Every person with a computer saw what Chris Brown did to Rhianna and not 2 years later (with no jail time ever served by the way) just received a standing ovation last night at the VMA’s.

To the people who saw this who are survivors of abuse, if this ad in any way upset them I personally and professionally apologize. I never meant any harm.

That being said I will tell you for 4 years of my teenage life, I lived in a home where I was verbally, emotionally, physically and sexually abused.

I am telling all of you who know and don’t know me publically right now. I have battled manic depression, suicide attempts, and addiction for the better half of my life because of it. Plus the added stress and dependency on those closest to me who helped keep me alive no questions asked. I hid behind the façade of a well put together ambitious go getter for 11 years because I couldn’t tell anyone, because I couldn’t talk about it, because still to this day it makes people so uncomfortable, because people don’t know how to react, because I was afraid of being labeled a “victim” a word so many you love to throw around. I am finally in a place of healing and you know what healed me? TALKING about it, every time I talk about it that man has less power over my life, every time I talk about it I inspire other people to be more aware and open minded, every time I talk about it the demons have less power over me, every time I talk about it I know that I just might help others in their healing.  And one day I will realize my ultimate goal of opening a fully sustainable commune and center of healing that will be a refuge for any survivor of abuse offering tools that helped me in my own path of healing.

I am excited that this has struck up a “controversy” between Edmonton and people around the world! What power a simple image can have to ignite and connect us! It is unfortunate that it is usually subject matter that makes us sick and uncomfortable. It is even more unfortunate that is doesn’t have the power to keep the fires burning. The majority of you that commented today will simply not get your hair cut at Fluid salon. Please prove me wrong.

Obviously Sarah and I were a little blindsided by the international response that this received today as we got so little attention when we originally posted this over a year a ago, so we wanted to make sure to take time to read every single comment that has been posted thus far before responding, which has been extensive and we are just 2 people who are trying to not be reactionary with this situation.  Several people have advised me to try and drop my name from being associated with this. As much as it is appreciated advice I try my very best every day to confront what scares me. I am a survivor of trial and tribulation and just because this current society demands that I humbly submit to all the bullying and beg for your forgiveness over this photograph, doesn’t mean I have to and I won’t. I have a right to my opinion as do you and make no mistake I judge no one that has participated in any of these discussions.

We developed this series 2 years ago with an amazing group of artists almost all of which worked for free and we want to thank them all again for their participation.

To Sarah, I am sorry I am in Vancouver right now and you are catching the brunt of this madness.

As for myself, I stand behind my work, I know who loves me in this world and a photograph I helped create isn’t going to stop them from loving me (love you mom).  And while the majority of you are reading this in the morning at your desks, I will be doing what I love and in the process helping people that most of you ignore and are disgusted by on a daily basis, doing the things most of you may never be brave enough to do. Step out into the world and connect with one another.

 

xotj

 

From her mother Phyllis Jackson:

Did you all know that verbal and emotional abuse is also a part of “domestic violence?” Did you all know that verbal and emotional abuse is as harmful or more so than the physical violence? Did you all know that verbal, emotional & physical abuse is not just “domestic violence”? – it can happen between strangers as well – kind of like what is happening here and now. As a survivor of domestic violence and as someone who worked as a director of women’s shelters for well over 20 years, I can say without doubt that all your “public” comments and opinions are just as abusive and hurtful as any “domestic violence” I can also tell you from my experience of working with many women that I have never met or worked with one who would have a black eye and not have it covered and hidden away with sunglasses because it still is a very secretive and shameful situation for any abused women I have been around. Do you know that such violence is perpetrated by people who think that only their opinion and solution is right? Most abusers have little regard for their victims so I don’t understand how attempting to destroy a young woman’s hair salon business is going to stop any spousal abuse. Why don’t you boycott the lawmakers & politicians – their homes & offices that allow the violence to continue if you would like to contribute to eradicating the problem? Why don’t you do something constructive instead of beating someone else down – how are you any different? Shame on you for deliberately hurting someone because you don’t agree with them. In reality this is a picture on a computer or piece of paper of a woman sitting on a couch with interesting hair and a painted on black eye and a man standing behind a couch holding a necklace. With my experience on both ends of the spectrum, i fail to see how that equates to domestic violence. However, I can clearly hear and see what you are writing and saying and most of it sounds and feels very abusive to me. If you don’t like the picture – don’t look at it – if you don’t wish to patronize the salon – that is your prerogative – but destroying another person and the things they love makes you no different than the worst of abusers.

 

One Response to “My personal response regarding today’s madness by tj”

  1. I hope that the media talks about these two blog postings as well.

    This new world of social media can be a source of growth, and destruction, in a blink of an eye. I find it frightening and exhilarating. I feel sorry for those of you who have been attacked, and know that it can happen to anyone over a picture, a video, a phrase…

    Thank you for sharing your personal stories. It matters to me.

    Cheri Mae
    Toronto, ON

    (Reply)

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